Weekend fasting at my dad’s because I was too scared in case I gained as he didn’t have scales…now 73lbs with a bmi of 12.9…no wonder I’m going to the inpatient place tomorrow :/ still can’t bring myself to eat anything though in case I go up from my LW…am I going crazy??
Fasting…
Fasted for 4 days straight, with being in and out of hospital…totally drained, barely conscious, getting referred asap to an inpatient program, but reached my LW of 76lbs. I just want to keep getting lower, no matter what it takes…this is not good :/
I’ve taken the insulin. Just got to wait for it to take effect. I’ve got like 4 hours till mum’s home, so ages. 77lbs, my final weight in life, my lowest weight ever, yet somehow still my unhappiest point. Thank you to all my followers for following me and supporting me, and thank you to all the people I’ve followed as well for making me feel like there are people who actually understand. Love to you all, and fight this while you can. You always think it’ll never happen to you, and all of a sudden it’s taken over your soul. Please fight this xxx
I think I’m going to die today. I can’t cope with this any more. It’s got so bad so fast, and everyone tells me to fight it, and I would, if only I knew how!! The overwhelming, agonising guilt that used to come from a binge now comes whenever I eat anything at all. If I eat a ‘normal’ meal it upsets my stomach so badly because it’s so not used to food that it’s getting harder to just maintain, never mind gaining like everyone wants me to. I can’t cope with this any more. I’m just too unhappy.
I’m making a ‘they care’ page people :) Reblog if you want your URL included, but only reblog if you DO care and would help someone if they came to you<3
sweetie are you really 77 pounds? if you don't mind me asking, how?
Yes. I know it’s not a good thing, but I can’t get out of the cycle now, and I don’t know what to do. I basically live off: no breakfast (but that is cause I always hated it, not eaten breakfast since I was about 11); no lunch, and dinner is salad (lettuce, peppers and carrot, no dressings, <50cal) or dry roasted vegetables or just nothing. I don’t really get hungry any more.
I do sometimes eat one rice cake if my blood sugar gets low (diabetic as well which makes things a tad challenging), but generally below 100cal a day, and just my walk to and from college burns 150, then there’s the general 1000ish (apparently) calories a day burnt off by just by like living, breathing etc…
Even if I binge now I don’t gain because I’m so used to eating so little that I can’t binge more than about 500cal without throwing up because my body physically cant handle that much food. So I can’t gain because I actually physically can’t eat enough.
My family’s threatening to hospitalise me constantly. I can’t go through that, but there really is no alternative. I don’t know what to do. I hope you’re not aiming to be like me. I really wouldn’t recommend it.
